The Breast of Humanity

I have fallen to the land of smut...

I have fallen to the land of smut. It has been a long time, but I have almost climbed back out of the tempting pit of lustful fantasies. That is the other reason why I have not been posting. I went to the library and checked out a bunch of smutty books. No, I refuse to call the romance novels, because it does not happen like that in real life, it is just smut (but oh it is so much fun sometimes). The girl is never a petite, young creature with breasts that she thinks are too small and yet gently upthrust at the same time. The real life damsel always wonders how did I manage to get hips like this with so much junk in my trunk I can't see out my rear view mirror. The man is never an Adonis towering over you by at least a foot, with those velvety chocolate eyes that sear through you like a flame igniting your inner fires, he hasn't got obscenely broad shoulders that make you think he will certainly crush you if he were to lay down on you. I am finished with smut, at least for a while. Instead, I will blog. RC is at work right now and squishy is hopefully on his way to dream land. My back is killing me. The dishes are stacked all over the counter and I haven't put the folded laundry away. That is what happens when you fall to the land of smut. But, at least it was free library smut that I won't even have to look at once I return it (excuses). I think that this last one that I read has just really turned my off to it. I mean come on, you can't seriously fall in love with someone who the first time you met them they raped you. That is just not possible. And come to think of it, what about these women out here in the real world who stay with a guy even though he beats them and cheats on them. WHY? Can anyone answer that? No excuses. Why is this world so embroiled in laying the blame on someone else? It is called "personal accountability". It is what makes you stop and think before you say something you don't mean and then have too much pride to take back so you have to follow through with it. Why don't people ever think? I am fed up with the stupid people in this world, and they are the ones who say Oh, getting trashed out drunk is fine, for that matter, running a stop light is fine, oh let's just go all the way, emailing people viruses is fine. People consider that anything is fine as long as they don't get caught. You slow down when you see a cop on the side of the road whether or not you are speeding, right? Do any of these people ever stop to think about the one person who is watching them all the time. The one other person in the world that sees them ignoring His word, lying to make themselves look good, running stop lights, not telling the cashier that she gave you too much change back, ignoring your debts, not using their turn signal, sleeping with another man's wife, drinking themselves into oblivion. Why don't people think? Why? I won't make excuses for myself any more, because that is all they are. Plain and simple, I am a sinner. I suffer for not communing with my Lord and Savior on a daily basis. I feel dejected, alone, guilty, and disgusting. I hate myself. The thought that on a daily basis for the last week all I have done with my spare time is read about throbbing members, thrusting, groping, and rape makes me want to vomit. I have taken no time for the one who I claim is foremost in my life. What does that say about me? I have done the same as if I had slept with the first joe off the street, as if I killed brutally with my bare hands, as if I helped in hammering those nails. I have heard it for years, sin is sin is sin. It is all equal. It doesn't matter what sin I have committed, it is still black. I am so sick of myself.

posted by Jedi Master Deba Sing @ 3:16 PM 0 comments