The Breast of Humanity

I am dizzy...

posted by Jedi Master Deba Sing @ 10:51 PM 1 comments

Birthday musing

Today I turn 27. Thinking about this birthday has been particularly difficult for some odd reason that I cannot name. The idea of being three years away from thirty is quite... hmm... frightening, daunting, depressing? I'm not quite sure which word describes it best. My good friend, A, reminded me tonight that she is seven years older than me. Interesting that I have never seen her as being particularly older or younger than me, but simply as a contemporary. I have always viewed us as simply travelling the road together, not as her being beyond me or me beyond her. I must say that I am so happy that I do have the friends that I have, they make the journey worth while.

posted by Jedi Master Deba Sing @ 1:24 AM 1 comments

I was going to post today, but nothing I have written makes any sense.

posted by Jedi Master Deba Sing @ 3:30 PM 2 comments

Like a hatchet to the face...

"It's totally preposterous to think that we insignificant humans (compared to the total of God's Creation) could have any impact whatsoever on what God has set into motion. It goes further to show just how arrogant we have become. We will never be able to grasp the vastness and intelligence of God's Creation with our feeble human minds. No matter how much proselytizing the alarmists continue to promote, their theories will always fall "flat" due to the simple fact that they have taken God out of the equation."
This is from one of my friend's recent-ish journal postings. It hits me, rather personally, square between the eyes like a hatchet.

posted by Jedi Master Deba Sing @ 1:41 PM 0 comments

So tonight I managed to stab myself in the lip with my pliers while making a chain for my cell phone. That is what I call talent.

posted by Jedi Master Deba Sing @ 11:37 PM 0 comments

And the world continues to turn even though I have not posted in a while. The past month and a half have been, to say the least, eventful. Many sad things have occurred and we are working through it, not getting over it. I have once again become a hermit unto myself and I am trying to break myself out of that. You know sometimes there are lots of things that seem to all be working together to pull you down to try to break you to the deepest levels and leave you a writhing, wretched mess on the floor. Surprisingly, I haven't yet been that, although I have wanted to be. Sometimes wallowing in your self-pity is one of the worst and at the same time best things for you to do. That is if you want to shut everyone out and build up those walls that you have tried so hard to tear down. I feel it slowly creeping in though. The need to be appreciated, the need of approval. Why do I continually think that this life is all about me?

posted by Jedi Master Deba Sing @ 10:22 PM 0 comments

a response

Sometimes when you take the time to think about something you cannot deny it is true. Sometimes also you realise that you are a one point in your life where you really crave having relationships with people who have built up walls so high and so thick that there is no chance of breaking through even if you knew how. Life is too short to go through it with no one who really knows you. People have so much to offer, but in this age of "I want it right now and I want it to feel good and make me happy", being vulnerable and getting to know someone is next to impossible if both parties are not open and brutally honest. Brutally honest in this point not meaning being rude because there is some inconsequentiality that you dislike, but by sharing your whole heart, the mushy gross chewed up gum of your lives that everyone wants to hide away. And then there is the other side of it, with it being easier to be open and honest with the people you choose and not the people that life has chosen for you. I am open to anything.

And the whole world doesn't read this blog, just the people who want to get to know me or know me and all of my struggles already.

posted by Jedi Master Deba Sing @ 4:20 PM 0 comments